Ik drink veel koffie.
Nov. 7th, 2025 10:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zkaHi! I disappeared for a couple weeks?
I finally had a lightbulb moment: Low motivation, low energy, and not wanting to get out of bed: It's depression, again! Mental health issues tend to have fuzzy edges, presenting as "comorbid" with other issues. I was fixated on the symptoms of burnout, and how the past 10+ years have brought me to this point. Unfortunately, it's worse than simple career burnout.
Depression blocks the ability to enjoy anything in life. This epiphany was a few days ago: I can walk, or bicycle, through one of the most beautiful countries on Earth, and not feel any connection to what I'm seeing, or experiencing. The landscape is so gorgeous here, yet it's a massive internal struggle to force myself to go outside, or connect with it in any way. Simple tasks like grocery shopping are eviscerating, mentally painful.
This is almost certainly the result of years of doing way too much. WAY WAY WAY TOO MUCH. Not just the career moves, but also owning houses, the hurried exit from America, foolishly adopting a problematic monster-hound during quarantine, etc.
I've been through this before, and I need to enact some life changes if I expect to feel any different. I may appear to be "off the grid" for a spell. Please hold, your call is very important to us. You will be helped by the next available representative. This is the hold music, you're welcome lol
I finally had a lightbulb moment: Low motivation, low energy, and not wanting to get out of bed: It's depression, again! Mental health issues tend to have fuzzy edges, presenting as "comorbid" with other issues. I was fixated on the symptoms of burnout, and how the past 10+ years have brought me to this point. Unfortunately, it's worse than simple career burnout.
Depression blocks the ability to enjoy anything in life. This epiphany was a few days ago: I can walk, or bicycle, through one of the most beautiful countries on Earth, and not feel any connection to what I'm seeing, or experiencing. The landscape is so gorgeous here, yet it's a massive internal struggle to force myself to go outside, or connect with it in any way. Simple tasks like grocery shopping are eviscerating, mentally painful.
This is almost certainly the result of years of doing way too much. WAY WAY WAY TOO MUCH. Not just the career moves, but also owning houses, the hurried exit from America, foolishly adopting a problematic monster-hound during quarantine, etc.
I've been through this before, and I need to enact some life changes if I expect to feel any different. I may appear to be "off the grid" for a spell. Please hold, your call is very important to us. You will be helped by the next available representative. This is the hold music, you're welcome lol
